Sunday, January 02, 2005

Signs and Wonders....

Once upon a time there were two guys talking about some signs and wonders. They were the kind of signs and wonders that a lot of people like to talk about. The first guy was a prissy Christian so he asked the other, "I wonder if she likes me?"

"What are the signs?" the other replied.

"What signs?"

"The signs you are supposed to read. Sheesh know, all the signs." the second said.

"I don't know any signs." the first replied, glumly.

"You don't know any signs, so it is no wonder you sit there wondering. No wonder at all...." the second guy chuckled a bit.

"Look man, just tell me!"

"Well, it can be complicated."

"I reeeally want to know."

"I'm sure you do. Alright, well, you're not a very observant so do not blame me if you misread quite a bit. Signs, they have to be read and read correctly. That's all."

"So, does she like me?"

"Does she flip her hair around you?"

"Yes, so is it a sign? Is it? Is it?"

"It might be, or maybe her hair is just out of place a lot."

"How about you show me what a good hair flip sign would be?" the prissy Christian replied.

"Sheesh man, I don't have long hair to flip. And even if I did I would not flip it for you. How about this, does she laugh really loud to her friends and the like when you pass by, almost as if to get your attention?"

"I think she might, maybe. Is that the best sign? Is it?"

"It might be, or maybe she just likes to laugh loud. She might laugh at your jokes really loud too, or maybe she just likes to laugh. Maybe you should make a dumb joke and see. But then, some people laugh at the dumbest jokes. I have this friend..."

"Man, are you going to tell me what a good sign is or not?"

"I told you, it may be complicated. Women like to keep things complicated so that they can move in mysterious ways. You have to learn to read better. Each one is different anyway, so they use different signs. Christian girls are generally different too but even there some are and some are not. Is she Christian?"

"Of course she is."

"Right....I forgot. That might make things more tricky, what with all the friendly friendships get mixed in. So friendly! You want to be my friend? It's all so friendly, friendships."

"Stay on topic...."

"I'm just curious, why don't you just ask her out? Then, you'd know."

"Because, I need to be secure in God's will. And things like that....or something."

"Yeah, or maybe you just need security and fear your insecurity. But okay, does it seem like she furtively makes adjustments to her appearance when you are around?"

"I think she may. So is that a good secure sign?"

"Well, maybe she just likes to look good. Vanity, that's also an option."

"Come on, man! You've got to tell me a sign that only reads one way."

"All these others are fascinating though, you just need to be more observant. Pay attention to what type of girl she is, some use signs all the time and some almost never do. It's just a natural thing for them, though. Fascinating...."

"I'm not fascinated.

Man, I come to you for help and you start talking about what fascinates you!"

"Well, there are other signs to read but here is the best sign, it is spelled 'Y' "e' 's.'" his friend replied.

"What? Yes, I know that spells yes."

"That's the sign she gives you to read if you get your butt in gear and just ask her out. It's simple. But let me get this straight, she flips her hair, she laughs loud, she adjusts her appearance, she probably even tries to converse with you....and you have not asked her out? Although, you actually do want to?"

"Well, sort of...."

"What is it, exactly, that you expect her to do?"

"Well, I was thinking.... it would be kind of nice if she would ask me out."

"I give up...."

"Wait, I have an idea, could you ask her if she likes me? I'm too nice to ask, what if someone's feelings get hurt? Besides, that way I could stop wondering about it."


The End


Ian - band member said...


Jason - Band Member said...

The tampon comment could probably be refined right on out of there.

mynym said...

Alright...It also might hurt someone's good lil' feelings anyway.

As long as I'm on the topic. (It's not like I gave away all the signs. Not to worry, they're still all so mysterious, and such a hard mystery! And I deconstructed each one, for that which moves in mysterious ways, should keep moving.)

But you know what's a bad sign? Wait....stop reading here if you agree about the tampon comment. A disagreement I agree with, since it is just thrown in there as an inside joke.

But now you've been warned. now...I admit, I tread a fine line sometimes.

But this sign is not a fine line. No, it's a bad sign:

A fat college girl with a thong coming out her pants up her back, like some seem to try to do. Why, why do they do it? That sign points down, and it is a real downer. The bottom line is, that bottom line is not a fine line, not fine at all. There ought to be a law about that type of harassment. For what is the meaning of it? One might assume that it is a morass of embarrassment.

mynym said...

I meant to say, could cause a morass of embarassment.

I wish I could edit comments too.

Anyway, all better now!

I'm open to different readings of signs too. Myself, I prefer the hair flip or something obvious. Flip, flip goes the hair....swish...

And so on.

Ian - band member said...

Tampons really hurt my feelings.

Jason - Band Member said...

"A fat college girl with a thong coming out her pants up her back, like some seem to try to do."

Fat or thin, college educated or not, male or female . . . you really should be looking away.

mynym said...

They do?

That's embarassing. But I was talking about the embarassment of someone else.

mynym said...

" really should be looking away."

Oh, but I did....but too late!

Some signs are not benign and are that kind that sear the mind. There was no consent to the harassment.