Tuesday, December 21, 2004

Free Speech!

One day, a case came before a group of American judges in California. A man had run down the street naked and then said he could because of his free speech rights. Someone sued him because they did not want their kids to see him naked.

So the American judges were discussing it and one said, "I wonder, free speech means freedom of all types of expression, right?" Another replied, "Yes, I think we should have it mean more than just free speech."

So one said, "So what part of his body was he talking with, do you suppose?"

"Well, if he ran down the street in a speedo then we would not have a case before us. So I think that since we say he was talking by not wearing one, he must have been talking with his private parts."

One replied, "Yeeeah, I think so too. So I wonder, what were his privates saying as he ran down the street?"

One looked at a video of it and said, "It looks like they're saying, 'I'm cold!'"

"Yeeeah, I think so too." another replied.

Another said, "Well, I am glad we decided this case about free speech today, just look at the free speech of us! Yep, it's a good thing we are here to protect free speech from Americans. Otherwise Americans would be discriminating against pornographers and nudists."

"....argh, what is that smell?"

"Oopsy, I think I just emitted another penumbra."

"Man, you need to stop emitting those!"

(It's too bad, you can't really satirize Californian judges. They already are a satire. They do not protect free speech in various ways, by the way. They protect decadence and the like as "speech" but not political speech as speech. Words have come to be quite malleable in their hands.)


mynym said...

You have to watch out for those judicial penumbras that "emit" from a text. They're some real stinkers.

Anonymous said...

Funny, very funny. I chuckled out loud.