Jihad update...

Investigators conclude that the Koran was not flushed down the toilet and that suspected Islamic terrorists are considering converting to Hogwartism. (Unfortunately I don't know any Harry Potter jokes because apparently I'm not as up to speed on it as a the typical Guantanamo torture victim.)

Books about boy wizard Harry Potter have become favourite reading material among Islamic terror suspects at the US detention centre at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba.

Quoting a librarian working at the centre, The Washington Times newspaper says JK Rowling's tales about the boy and the school of wizardry are on top of the request list for the camp's 520 Al Qaeda and Taliban suspects, followed by Agatha Christie novels.

(Harry Potter popular with Guantanamo detainees: report, ABC News)

An effete reporter in the Old Press heard to ask the investigators, "Yes, but did they threaten to flush one of the prisoner's Harry Potter books down the toilet to...did they, did they? Why, the torture of it! That's because all soldiers are like Bullies!"

Another said to reply, "It just goes to show that America is like a Big Meanie...yes, an assertive Bully just like the one that used to take the books of an effeminate fellow like me in highschool and put them in the toilet. Bush is like a Bully too, every reporter knows that.

Flush my books down the toilet will they? I'm the Big Reporter now, so I can protect all the Victims!"